Christian Worship Song

[sawscape]

I've been interested for a while now in writing songs that might be played during church services (I go to a Presbyterian church that has many talented singers and performers).
This is the first one that I've managed to complete, but I haven't submitted it to the church music director yet.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/song...songID=5716559
The oboe represents the vocal parts.

I've also posted the score at SibeliusMusic.com:
http://www.sibeliusmusic.com/cgi-bin...scoreid=110773

Any feedback would be helpful. Thanks.

[rjholtmus2]

I personally did not care for the song. It seemed too repetitious and was not (in my opinion) "worshipful". It might make a good choral anthem, but I honestly could not see a congregation (our congregation, at least) singing it.

The flute part seemed to busy and I do not know of many praise & worship groups that have flutes.

Not knowing your musical background, your age or anything else, I hesitate to say too much. I don't want to be too critical for fear of making you angry or worse, squelching your creative spirit.

Having said that, let me add that I think if you slow it down, and maybe put it into a major key might help. Also, if you can rework the lyrics to actually mention God rather than just "you", (like "you, oh God or you oh Lord) would give the singer (hearer) more of a feeling of a sacred song than just a song by a forelorn lover singing to his lost love.

Keep writing. You only learn by trying and trying again. We are not all Mozarts, who can write symphonies and operas at age 10.

God bless. Hope I did not offend you or hurt your feelings.

[rjholtmus2]

I personally did not care for the song. Harmonically, it seemed too repetitious and was not (in my opinion) "worshipful". It might make a good choral anthem, but I honestly could not see a congregation (our congregation, at least) singing it.

The flute part seemed to busy and I do not know of many praise & worship groups that have flutes.

Not knowing your musical background, your age or anything else, I hesitate to say too much. I don't want to be too critical for fear of making you angry or worse, squelching your creative spirit.

Having said that, let me add that I think if you slow it down, and maybe put it into a major key might help. Also, if you can rework the lyrics to actually mention God rather than just "you", (like "you, oh God or you oh Lord) would give the singer (hearer) more of a feeling of a sacred song than just a song by a forelorn lover singing to his lost love.

Keep writing. You only learn by trying and trying again. We are not all Mozarts, who can write symphonies and operas at age 10.

God bless. Hope I did not offend you or hurt your feelings.

[sawscape]

rjholtmus2,

Thank you for your response. I have a feeling others feel the same as you since I didn't get any responses for quite a while. I am naturally disappointed, but not offended by your comments. It's hard to be objective towards your own songs and I tend to like mine.

I was a bit worried about the flute part. I was hoping that it might stand with or without the flute, but it ended up being a major part of the song. Our church has an excellent wind player who often accompanies the piano and guitar. I was hoping to write something that would be interesting to him. Also, that part could be dropped an octave for a guitar--our church also has services with a rock type band and their lead could do it easily.

As for being repititious, I guess I thought that this was a feature of these types of songs. That is, the melody would be fairly simple and consistent for the congregation and the words would change (or not) for the verses.

In any case, I will think about your other suggestions and see if I can improve the song. Thanks again.