Help needed on short term..

[PeterG]

Hello all,

I was planning to enter a tune into the Soundclick Holiday Season contest and re-written a piano tune to fit a small brass band (2x trumpet, 2x trombone + tuba + glockenspiel).

Can I have some comments / improvements (if any, he said confidently..... LOL) on short term? The deadline for entering is Nov.15 so basically 3 days left to clean it up.

Here's the soundclick link:

Ode to The Season
lo-fi URL: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getpl...d=5961372&q=lo
hi-fi URL: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getpl...d=5961372&q=hi

The Score is attached.

Oh, and should you be intersted to hear the original piano version (with a different name; it was an Ode to my Anne):

Ode to Anne
lo-fi URL: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getpl...d=5627574&q=lo
hi-fi URL: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getpl...d=5627574&q=hi

Thanks in advance for the help !

Peter

P.S. sound is generated by Finale. If anyone can volunteer to play it with better equipment within the deadline, let me know what you need to get it done! My gratitude would be unbelievable!

[mikexception]

Hello PeterG - I checked them only due to late hour - beautifull - I tried it at once on keyboard piano - its definitely kind of music I like.

[stevel]

Originally Posted by PeterG

Hello all,

I was planning to enter a tune into the Soundclick Holiday Season contest and re-written a piano tune to fit a small brass band (2x trumpet, 2x trombone + tuba + glockenspiel).

Can I have some comments / improvements (if any, he said confidently..... LOL) on short term? The deadline for entering is Nov.15 so basically 3 days left to clean it up.

Here's the soundclick link:

Ode to The Season
lo-fi URL: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getpl...d=5961372&q=lo
hi-fi URL: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getpl...d=5961372&q=hi

The Score is attached.

Oh, and should you be intersted to hear the original piano version (with a different name; it was an Ode to my Anne):

Ode to Anne
lo-fi URL: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getpl...d=5627574&q=lo
hi-fi URL: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getpl...d=5627574&q=hi

Thanks in advance for the help !

Peter

P.S. sound is generated by Finale. If anyone can volunteer to play it with better equipment within the deadline, let me know what you need to get it done! My gratitude would be unbelievable!

Peter, I see some immediate concerns here:

Crappy Key. Put it in Bb. Trumpet parts come out in C (who doesn't like that :-) ) and Fx turns to G# - much easier to read.

Brass players use their breath to play their instruments - they need to breathe!!!

You know how many rests you have in there? Not enough. There are only a couple of places where you have something like the Tuba playing off-beats where they have a rest on 1 and 3, but other than those couple of little places, they're always going.

To add to that, you've pretty much got all 5 instruments going all the time. Instruments are allowed to rest you know!!!

You've got these crazy leaps happening. Why? For example, m.8 in Tbn 1 - you've got B down an 8ve and a 5th to E then the last 8th note G# jumping up a 6th to E. Musicians are used to their lines leading somewhere. It's good that you have the line E F# G# lead to A in the lower two parts, but there's no need for the Tbn 1 to go E F# G# - then jump to E. You either give them a line that leads to the chord tone E, give them a note that leads to E from the previous chord (like E), or give them rests.

Glcokenspiel? OK, I see the holiday thing. Though you have to watch out - Brass are loud, Glock is not - or if it is, it's basically annoying! You'll more likely get nothing but a "tinkly" effect than any actual pitches. Also, that's a lot of Glock. Usually it's used more for an effect or color, not to double a melody continuously for any length of time. Usually it adds impact (attack) to long notes so for example, if a pattern is A B C A | B C D B | C D E C Glock will often play A | B | C | etc. Since the sound of the Glock really "rings over" it tends to sound the same as when a pianist plays with the pedal down all of the time.

I think you'll find that you need some relief from the Glock (less motion, or more laying out).

I feel like you've always got something doubled - you've got both trumpets playing the same thing, or both T-bones playing the same thing, or the Tbn and Tuba doubling. What you really need to do here is look at how many parts you have: If you only have 3 parts, you shouldn't simply double the bass or double the melody just because you feel like those instruments "need something to do". Trust me, the rests are appreciated.

So I think this needs some significant work to be effective Peter.

HOWEVER, this is Soundclick - I don't think anyone is going to be critiquing the playability - they're probably more concerned about the audio representation. So it's more about it sounding good. You could probably go through and lighten up the texture (doubling up those cheesy Finale sounds does more harm than good) and make it nice to listen to.

So not to poo-poo your effort, but as a Brass 5tet, this needs some work.

Steve

[PeterG]

Originally Posted by mikexception

Hello PeterG - I checked them only due to late hour - beautifull - I tried it at once on keyboard piano - its definitely kind of music I like.

Greetings Mikexception,

If you wish to play the piano version, let me know via private message and I'll send you a pdf with the score..

Kind regards,

Peter

[PeterG]

Originally Posted by stevel

Crappy Key. Put it in Bb. Trumpet parts come out in C (who doesn't like that :-) ) and Fx turns to G# - much easier to read.

Good point. the original is in A so I didn't touch the key, but didn't think of the consequence either..

Originally Posted by stevel

Brass players use their breath to play their instruments - they need to breathe!!!

Even though I used to play an wind instrument myself and had to enter both breath in as well as breath out's in the score I seem to totally have forgotten about that. Blame the piano as you can eat and drink and breath in your own convenience whilst your playing (not advisable, but possible)..

Originally Posted by stevel

You've got these crazy leaps happening. Why? For example, m.8 in Tbn 1 - you've got B down an 8ve and a 5th to E then the last 8th note G# jumping up a 6th to E. Musicians are used to their lines leading somewhere. It's good that you have the line E F# G# lead to A in the lower two parts, but there's no need for the Tbn 1 to go E F# G# - then jump to E. You either give them a line that leads to the chord tone E, give them a note that leads to E from the previous chord (like E), or give them rests.

Thanks. I'll play them in solo one by one to listen to what it sounds like. That should point me into the right direction I guess..

Originally Posted by stevel

Glcokenspiel? OK, I see the holiday thing. Though you have to watch out - Brass are loud, Glock is not - or if it is, it's basically annoying! You'll more likely get nothing but a "tinkly" effect than any actual pitches. Also, that's a lot of Glock. Usually it's used more for an effect or color, not to double a melody continuously for any length of time. Usually it adds impact (attack) to long notes so for example, if a pattern is A B C A | B C D B | C D E C Glock will often play A | B | C | etc. Since the sound of the Glock really "rings over" it tends to sound the same as when a pianist plays with the pedal down all of the time.

Less is good... I hear you. And indeed the intent was to "tinkle"

Originally Posted by stevel

HOWEVER, this is Soundclick - I don't think anyone is going to be critiquing the playability - they're probably more concerned about the audio representation. So it's more about it sounding good. You could probably go through and lighten up the texture (doubling up those cheesy Finale sounds does more harm than good) and make it nice to listen to.

The virtual instruments in Finale weren't as good as I hoped for. Maybe a little ambiance-mixing can help but for some reason that doesn't work on my iMac, only on my XP version of Finale 2007. But.... I no longer have a XP computer with Finale 2007...
Thorolf: do you happen to know why?

Originally Posted by stevel

So not to poo-poo your effort, but as a Brass 5tet, this needs some work.

Thanks Steve, and this is exactly what I was hoping I'd get back by posting it. It's my very first non piano score and I have a lot to learn on writing for other instruments, specially the brass as I have never played / tried them.

Kind regards,

Peter

[Boneman]

Here you are Peter! There are a few repeats and dynamics to put in. I just concentrated on the players! If you really want it to be amazing I would have to make a small charge, sorry.

You may still want to tweak.

[Boneman]

Sorry forgot to change the key! Silly me!!

And here it as as a Brass Quintet

P.S. Hope Steve approves of this one!!

[Boneman]

And a midi file!

[PeterG]

Gentlemen,

How's this?

Peter

P.S. score is displayed in concert pitch because Finale doesn't want to do it other wise.

[mikexception]

[quote=PeterG;12537]Gentlemen,

Hmm ...I did't check the pdf version yet . As far, for my subjective look, I don't change - previous still number one. Your performance was better - like primary you had fresh idea what you want to get . Hold on to it.