Envy (Need help as well)

[Amythe]

I composed this for a little competition, but I would like people's opinion on this piece.

Is the beginning to slow, or do I seem to ramble a bit until the rest of the orchestra comes in?
Is it too repetetive until it fades out?

[reith]

It would be nice to see a score. My first impression is of a hymn-like or chorale piece. In the opening part, the harmony is without exception parallel/similar motion. The variation at 1.17 continues in the same scoring until 2.34. Now, this may be a particular genre (in which case this comments might be inappropriate) - it's "organ-stop" scoring - as on an organ, once set up it keeps going until the organist selects new stops. So apologies if the style you're writing in follows this system. My opinion tells me I'd like some variation in the scoring and texture, placing a bit more emphasis on the timbre of the instruments to light up phrases. The scoring is quite dense. Also, the piece never really shifts away from its opening tonal centre - which is fine for this length but much more and you'd have to do something radical to get contrast.

It's an ok piece though and good luck in the competition.


cheers,
reith

[Amythe]

Yeah, I agree that if I do decide to expand on it later, I'd need a completely different motif. However, this was supposed to be a theme song for a town, so I did need something I could repeat if it were ever used in a game, you know?

Here's the score, and I'll attach the short version now.

[reith]

Ah, right... I've got a poor knowledge of game music - mostly from just playing. Thinking about it, this would work in the way you say. Thanks for the score - I'll have a look at it.